What not to be thankful for on Thanksgiving November 27, 2008Posted by Mongo in Sports.
Tags: Chicago Tribune, Sports, Thanksgiving
1 comment so far
I am borrowing this Thanksgiving “wish list” (if that’s what you call it) from a Chicago Tribune article by Rick Morrissey; it’s from the Sports section and weighs a bit heavier on the Chicago teams. Enjoy, and have a very Happy Thanksgiving!
What not to be thankful for on Thanksgiving
Rick Morrissey / In the wake of the news
November 26, 2008
It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and all through the house … oh, wait. Wrong holiday.
It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and I would like to take this opportunity to say I’m thankful for sunrises, barefoot strolls on the beach … oh, wait. Wrong columnist.
It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and there are things I’m not thankful for, including the stupid rule about not ending a sentence with a preposition. There. Right holiday, right grumpy columnist.
I know this approach is going to come across as really, really ungrateful, seeing as how this is the time of year when we reflect on all the good things in our lives. But I would like to point out that I didn’t ask for, say, the Detroit Lions. They were thrust upon me.
I suppose I could be more positive and say I’m thankful for the New York Giants’ excellence, but the truth is that I’m more not thankful for the Lions’ wretchedness.
I’m willing to acknowledge that this could be considered a character flaw.
What I’m not thankful for:
• Any combination of the Cubs, the month of October and a priest sprinkling holy water.
• The idea that someday, Joe Paterno’s glasses will be back in style. And that I might be wearing them.
• Middle-age men donning Devin Hester jerseys for Bears games. To borrow from WBBM radio announcer Jeff Joniak, you … look … ridiculous.
• Hester at wide receiver.
• The New York attitude that, of course, LeBron James will want to come to the Big Apple to play for the Knicks when he becomes a free agent in 2010. Because who in his right mind wouldn’t?
• The evolution of human speech, and, thus, Stephen A. Smith and Jim Rome.
• The daily John Daly crisis.
• Man hugs.
• The people at Notre Dame who thought a 10-year contract extension for Charlie Weis was a good idea.
• The people who think another year of Weis is a good idea.
• NFL referees who turn on their microphones and say, “There was no foul on the play.” Really? Because I could have sworn I saw three yellow flags on the ground a second ago.
• The thought of Michael Vick coming back to the NFL and lining up in the “Wildcat” formation. Wouldn’t that launch a protest or two from feline-rights groups?
• Kosuke Fukudome’s swing.
• Joakim Noah’s shooting form.
• When basketball announcers gush about a player’s ability to “score the ball.” What else is he going to score except the ball? A gym shoe? Some weed for after the game? The theme song for the next Bond movie?
• Soccer fans who insist on calling the sport football. No. Just no.
• A Buick spokesman saying the company was ending its relationship with Tiger Woods to save money and to allow the superstar to spend more time with his family. Wow, a corporation with a heart.
• Mark Cuban’s stock-market tips.
• Alfonso Soriano in the leadoff spot.
• The fact Marion Jones’ autobiography still can be found in the nonfiction section of your local library. In it, using oversized, red, capital letters, she wrote that she never had used performance-enhancing drugs.
• How Marc Colombo discovered the key to staying healthy in Dallas, not Chicago.
• Pacman Jones’ insistence on remaining in our lives.
• “Dancing with the Stars.”
• ” American Idol,” while we’re at it.
• Sideline reporters.
• Red-light cameras at intersections. I can’t tell you how not thankful I am for those.
• Any kicker who makes an extra point and pats his offensive linemen on the helmet for a job well done. It’s like watching a batboy with 5 o’clock shadow high-fiving ballplayers.
• Punters who kick the ball into the end zone rather than into the red zone.
• Ah, the heck with it: Kickers as a whole.
• Media types who don’t really ask questions. These are the people who hold a tape recorder or a microphone in front of athletes and say something like, “Tough loss out there today. You really couldn’t move the ball.”
• Athletes who fail to respond, “Is there a question you’d like to ask?”
• Nick Swisher’s act.
• Kerry Wood’s departure.
• The whole Alex Rodriguez- Madonna thing.
• NBC. Michael Phelps could be handing out Christmas presents to disadvantaged youth, and I’d reflexively look for a TV shot showing his mom’s reaction in the stands.
• Athletes who use the same letter of the alphabet to name their children—i.e., Kyle, Kayla, Kris and Korky. Not sure why either.
• My tendency to give of myself until it hurts. Isn’t that right, Babs, Billy and Brutus?
Sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir . . . November 11, 2008Posted by Mongo in Politics.
Tags: Barack Obama
I’ve just about finished my “congratulations” letter to our new Comrade-In-Chief…but in the meantime here’s some other questions to ponder…
Excuse me Mr. Obama, I mean Senator Obama, sir. Um . . know you are busy and important and stuff. I mean running for president is very important and . . . ah . . . I hate to bother you. I will only take a minute ok, sir?
See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was wondering sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help me out. You know, no big deal, just some loose ends and things.
I can’t seem to get some information I need to wrap this up. These things seem to either be ‘locked’ or ‘not available’. I’m sure it’s just some oversight or glitch or something, so if you could you tell me where these things are . . I . . I . . . have them written down here somewhere . . . oh wait. Sorry about the smears. It was raining out. I’ll just read it to you.
Could you help me please find these things, sir?
1. Occidental College records — Not released
2. Columbia College records — Not released
3. Columbia Thesis paper — not available, locked down by faculty
4. Harvard College records — Not released, locked down by faculty
5. Selective Service Registration — Not released
6. Medical records — Not released
7. Illinois State Senate schedule — ‘not available’
8. Law practice client list — Not released
9. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate – – Not released
10. Embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth — Not released
11. Harvard Law Review articles published — None
12. University of Chicago scholarly articles — None
13. Your Record of baptism– Not released or ‘not available’
14. Your Illinois State Senate records–‘not available’
…You couldn’t get a job at McDonalds and become district manager after 143 days of experience.
…You couldn’t become chief of surgery after 143 days of experience of being a surgeon.
…You couldn’t get a job as a teacher and be the superintendent after 143 days of experience.
…You couldn’t join the military and become a colonel after 143 days of experience.
…You couldn’t get a job as a reporter and become the nightly news anchor after 143 days of experience.
From the time Barack Obama was sworn in as a United State Senator, to the time he announced he was forming a Presidential exploratory committee, he logged 143 days of experience in the Senate. That’s how many days the Senate was actually in session and working. After 143 days of work experience, Obama believed he was ready to be Commander In Chief, Leader of the Free World …. 143 days.
We all have to start somewhere. The senate is a good start, but after 143 days, that’s all it is – a start.
AND, strangely, a large sector of the American public is okay with this and campaigning for him. We wouldn’t accept this in our own line of work, yet some are okay with this for the President of the United States of America??? Come on folks, we are not voting for the next American Idol!
November 4th is here, and I missed my planned writeup… November 4, 2008Posted by Mongo in Politics.
Tags: Barack Obama, Elections, John McCain
1 comment so far
I had hoped to have a new posting up by now, but due to a busy weekend, other efforts to the election cause and probably a bit too much beer while watching football, it’s been permanently delayed. I would like to leave you with a brief writeup I received from a friend early this morning via Facebook…in not a lot of words she explains why she voted the way she did. An excellent summary!
“I voted against higher taxes for those making over 250, oh, I mean 200, oh, I mean 150, oh, I mean 97, oh wait, I mean 42, against redistribution of wealth, against smearing those who ask questions, against the followers of the mainstream media, against Ayers, Wright, Flager, Davis, Rezko, Alinsky, Hollywood, against the waving the white flag, I voted for drilling, for keeping the coal industry alive, for nuclear power, for lower taxes, for smaller government, for keeping babies who survive abortions alive, I voted as an informed leader and not a misguided follower. I voted for the one who has experience, whose voted with his party 75% of the time, not the one whose voted with his party 97% of the time. I voted for true Change not delusional change. I voted for M-C-C-A-I-N because he’s the only one whose taken a hit for my country! We’ve already warned our employees that some may loose their jobs should The One who wants to fine businesses to pay for nationalized health care be elected.”
Thanks to Susan H. for the above!